If you’ve not read my last BLOG post, I encourage you to do that before reading this one. It will put things in a bit better context as I share about a physical challenge I was facing about a month ago. I am still recovering and standing firmly on God’s provision for complete wholeness and healing in the midst of continuing to experience some symptoms. From my heart, though, I know that all is well. I believe it’s important to share this part of my journey on this BLOG, though, too…to be transparent…in hopes that it may help others.
I will say, the events of last month sounded a significant alarm for me…one that in many ways I’ve been avoiding for far too long. It’s like an alarm clock I once had. The wake-up call rang louder and louder each time you hit the snooze alarm and it went off again…until ultimately the alarm stopped sounding and the clock would go silent. It seems the wake-up calls in my life have been ringing louder and louder, and I don’t want to risk the consequences of my natural body and the Holy Spirit’s signals going silent altogether.
This last alarm with my physical body certainly got my attention, though. As I shared in my last post, what happened last month was more than just an attack in my body from the enemy. It was as much my failing to yield to wisdom and the Holy Spirit, and my foolish actions of pushing myself like I had that put me in the position to be vulnerable in the first place. I’ve had to acknowledge and repent of that. Through it all, I’ve also been seeing how...
I will say, the events of last month sounded a significant alarm for me…one that in many ways I’ve been avoiding for far too long. It’s like an alarm clock I once had. The wake-up call rang louder and louder each time you hit the snooze alarm and it went off again…until ultimately the alarm stopped sounding and the clock would go silent. It seems the wake-up calls in my life have been ringing louder and louder, and I don’t want to risk the consequences of my natural body and the Holy Spirit’s signals going silent altogether.
This last alarm with my physical body certainly got my attention, though. As I shared in my last post, what happened last month was more than just an attack in my body from the enemy. It was as much my failing to yield to wisdom and the Holy Spirit, and my foolish actions of pushing myself like I had that put me in the position to be vulnerable in the first place. I’ve had to acknowledge and repent of that. Through it all, I’ve also been seeing how...
...I hijacked the process of what God was doing last year during my attempted sabbatical. I did well for the first half of the year, and God really did a lot through it…but He’s not finished. I went back to some old defaults of making too many of my own plans and failing to “in all my ways acknowledge Him” knowing “He will direct my path.” When I do that, I tend to over commit and my service for the Lord begins to shift subtly into a compulsion, a work, and motivated by the wrong things. He cares for us too much to allow that to continue, though, and I love Him too much to continue to walk that road. I mentioned in my last newsletter that His Words for me for last year were obedience, trust and surrender. Those Words are meant to carry over to this year…and forever…too.
I am at a critical place of needing to truly slow down…physically and mentally…so out of all of this, I’ve been re-evaluating what these next months will look like. That said, as a first adjustment, the couple I work with in Asia and I agree that it is wisdom that I not make my scheduled trip to Hong Kong and Thailand in March. From the standpoint of health, they would prefer that I don’t come so I have some time to rest. They are amazing people of balance, and I’m grateful to have them in my life. Personally, though, I’ve also been saying that this past month has been a wake-up call and that I need to make some changes. Not making this whirlwind trip right now would seem to be one of those healthy and wise adjustments.
In these past weeks, the Lord has had me especially focusing on two verses: Psalm 118:14-The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has (already) become my salvation (salvation from external evils, deliverance, victory, saving health, welfare, prosperity). And Isaiah 30:15... In returning to Me and resting in Me is your salvation. In quietness and trusting confidence shall be your strength.” Perhaps most significant, though, was when He lead me to look at Isaiah 30:15 in the entirety of its context. In doing so, I saw that He was not only accurately diagnosing some of my problems through His Word, but at the same time He was giving me hope that can only come through Him.
First the diagnosis…Isaiah 30 (vs15) For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and in trusting confidence shall be your strength. But you would not. (Forgive me, Lord…I see it…but I choose to return, to rest, to be still and to trust and know You…) (vs16) And you said, “No! We will speed our own course…We will ride upon swift steeds doing our own way! (I’ve been in rebellion…going fast and furiously and driven by the wrong things…forgive me, Lord…) (vs1-2) Woe to the rebellious children, says the Lord, who take counsel and carry out a plan, but not Mine…and have not asked Me… (No more, Lord. Not my will…not another’s will…but Yours alone…I yield…)
And then these amazing promises…. (vs18) And therefore, the Lord earnestly waits, expecting, looking and longing to be gracious to you, and therefore He lifts himself up that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed, happy, fortunate and to be envied are all those who earnestly wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him, for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy and His matchless and unbroken companionship! (vs19) Oh, (Sarah), you will weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you. (vs20) And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself anymore, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher. (vs21) And your ears will hear a word behind you saying, This is the way; walk in it when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.
It goes on to talk about getting rid of the idols that have been and the blessings that abound as a result. There are definitely some idols to identify and get rid of…things like busyness and people pleasing. It’s time, and I’m ready…even without knowing quite how to move ahead with it all. What’s comforting is that He does. He has promised to give me a word saying, “This is the way, walk it in…” and I’ve committed the journey to Him. As I allow Him to do these deep works in me…giving place for Him to finish now what He’d intended to do in that final phase of my sabbatical time last year…my place is to stay at and in His REST.
He is revealing much, and reviving much...for such a time as this. I've said “yes” to Him in numerous areas these past weeks. Now it's a matter of continuing to walk that out, one step at a time...one act of yielded obedience and trust at a time. I really do love Him, and truly want to serve for that audience of One...and He's helping me do it. I’m grateful…
I am at a critical place of needing to truly slow down…physically and mentally…so out of all of this, I’ve been re-evaluating what these next months will look like. That said, as a first adjustment, the couple I work with in Asia and I agree that it is wisdom that I not make my scheduled trip to Hong Kong and Thailand in March. From the standpoint of health, they would prefer that I don’t come so I have some time to rest. They are amazing people of balance, and I’m grateful to have them in my life. Personally, though, I’ve also been saying that this past month has been a wake-up call and that I need to make some changes. Not making this whirlwind trip right now would seem to be one of those healthy and wise adjustments.
In these past weeks, the Lord has had me especially focusing on two verses: Psalm 118:14-The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has (already) become my salvation (salvation from external evils, deliverance, victory, saving health, welfare, prosperity). And Isaiah 30:15... In returning to Me and resting in Me is your salvation. In quietness and trusting confidence shall be your strength.” Perhaps most significant, though, was when He lead me to look at Isaiah 30:15 in the entirety of its context. In doing so, I saw that He was not only accurately diagnosing some of my problems through His Word, but at the same time He was giving me hope that can only come through Him.
First the diagnosis…Isaiah 30 (vs15) For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and in trusting confidence shall be your strength. But you would not. (Forgive me, Lord…I see it…but I choose to return, to rest, to be still and to trust and know You…) (vs16) And you said, “No! We will speed our own course…We will ride upon swift steeds doing our own way! (I’ve been in rebellion…going fast and furiously and driven by the wrong things…forgive me, Lord…) (vs1-2) Woe to the rebellious children, says the Lord, who take counsel and carry out a plan, but not Mine…and have not asked Me… (No more, Lord. Not my will…not another’s will…but Yours alone…I yield…)
And then these amazing promises…. (vs18) And therefore, the Lord earnestly waits, expecting, looking and longing to be gracious to you, and therefore He lifts himself up that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed, happy, fortunate and to be envied are all those who earnestly wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him, for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy and His matchless and unbroken companionship! (vs19) Oh, (Sarah), you will weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you. (vs20) And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself anymore, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher. (vs21) And your ears will hear a word behind you saying, This is the way; walk in it when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.
It goes on to talk about getting rid of the idols that have been and the blessings that abound as a result. There are definitely some idols to identify and get rid of…things like busyness and people pleasing. It’s time, and I’m ready…even without knowing quite how to move ahead with it all. What’s comforting is that He does. He has promised to give me a word saying, “This is the way, walk it in…” and I’ve committed the journey to Him. As I allow Him to do these deep works in me…giving place for Him to finish now what He’d intended to do in that final phase of my sabbatical time last year…my place is to stay at and in His REST.
He is revealing much, and reviving much...for such a time as this. I've said “yes” to Him in numerous areas these past weeks. Now it's a matter of continuing to walk that out, one step at a time...one act of yielded obedience and trust at a time. I really do love Him, and truly want to serve for that audience of One...and He's helping me do it. I’m grateful…
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